Surrender

I let it boil. I let it fester and I lose it.

I beg and I plead.

But nothing happens.

So I become numb.

I die a little inside.

Or

Is this what surrender really feels like?

Fully detaching from what happens next.

At this point,

Any outcome is better than where I am at.

So I stay open.

Grateful, although a little discouraged

Because I've been on this path all summer, in the in between, jumping timelines for sure, but afraid to lose it all.

On the brink of “almost there” and “just hold on a little longer” for far too long.

I'm ready to move.

I’m ready for change.

Something that moves me to my core.

Because that's exactly what I asked for.

Big healing, leads to big breakdowns and on the other side..

A Breakthrough?

I hope.

I guess I'll just set the intention to hang on for one more day.

Because the cost of staying the same,

Feels far greater

Than choosing to dream.